“How are you feeling today?”
“My feelings were hurt.”
“I’m not feeling it.”
It would be a nice reminder to respond to the “facts” about our life situations if people asked us, “What is true about your life today?”, or “What is going on that you can impact to make a difference?” This, possibly, could become a trigger to think on what is true about our lives as opposed to what we “feel” is true about our lives.
We can easily become overly concerned about what we ‘think” someone else is ‘thinking’ regarding us. When, in actuality, we or our situation may be the furthest thing from their minds. When I begin thinking along these lines, I often chuckle to remind myself that I am only ‘kind of a big deal’ in my own mind. 🙂
Picture a train, the engine is the power that drives it and the caboose (when they were used) served to house the crew responsible for track switching and acting as lookouts for load shifting or other concerns. If we regard the TRUTH about our lives as the engine of the train that drives us, we can move along empowered by making decisions based on what we know to be right. If, on the other hand, we are led by our FEELINGS, it is as if we are letting the caboose engineer our life train and we become disempowered because we can be on a roller coaster driven by emotions and not truth. It is stressful and chaotic at best and ultimately results in, you guessed it, a train wreck!
Avoiding this mindset of feelings-driven living, requires us to be intentional in cultivating a belief system that is grounded in the truth about any given situation. This is the truth about what is and not what only may be or could be. It is recognizing the things we have the power to change as well as the ones we will need to learn to accept because we cannot change them.
When I meet or speak with folks and the discussion involves facts vs. feelings, I often recommend that they get an index card and on one side, write: “What am I feeling about the current situation I am facing?” And on the flip side, I suggest they write: “What is true about the current situation I am facing?” This can really prove to be a game-changer if you are prone to lean into your feelings, which are nothing more than assumptions about the way you believe that something is going to turn out.
It is much less stressful and more enjoyable to face facts and adjust to what is true than it is to be carried on the winds of our feelings whereby we are up and down and never really sure what is true and what to expect.
Regardless of our feelings or emotions, we can choose to do the next basic right thing. Putting this choice into practice will serve well in developing a belief system that, “what is fact is true”, and “what is assumed, is yet to be determined”.
And remember, our feelings follow our actions, so choose what is the next best thing you need to do and do it… the right feelings will come along in due time!
Sheri Geyer is a Christian Life Coach, Writer, Wife and Mom